Kindness

This blog post has been a long time coming...

ONE quality I really try to be and that is KIND. So what does kind really mean? I could easily give you the definition is the dictionary but I will give you mine instead.  Being kind is more than being nice, it is opening your heart to opportunities especially to serve.  I think kindness comes through your eyes, your spirit, your actions, it gives you purpose, and it warms the heart.  I love being kind and thoughtful to those around me and those I do not know.   As I have reached out and been kind to people around me I feel that some may look at it as a sign of weakness. 

As many of you may not know, I truly try to be a sweet and kind hearted person.  I love to serve others and do as much as I can to help those around me.  I may not come across that way when you first meet me but I promise those are always my intentions.  So please know that it is not a weakness but an amazing strength.

Here are some funny examples oh how I was blindsided by just being kind...

I have an AMAZING job and get to do so many fun things and have the opportunity to invite friends and family to share these experiences with them.

AND that is exactly what I have done, extended invites--- platonic ones, to come and enjoy somethings not all get to experience.

Let me enlighten you about how boys have made being kind really weird for me.

I got 4 tickets to the baseball game so what do I do? I take the boy that has been texting my everyday for the last month and tell him to bring a friend.  I figured then there was no pressure just wanted to get to know him a little better. I mean we were texting a lot, he did say he was going to take me on a date but he never asked. (So maybe I am the dumb one? You decide) After the game things were normal and kept chatting a bit.

Well my next event was coming up which was the first one I was in charge of felt a little pressure to make sure people would be there.  I, of course invited this boy among many others including his house full of boys.  Free food, I figured they would come, and they did BUT this is when it gets good... This boy brought another freakin BROAD to the event. I shouldn't be surprised but wait to my event? Hmmm I totally get it.  I thought it was truly funny, but seriously who does that??? I am glad I could facilitate a date night for you with her though! You sure owe me.  Yet I brushed it off and kept rolling with the punches, another dude down.  

Next up, some guy said  "Hey Court you should let me know when you do things with your friends I am feeling like I haven't been social and need to be." So what do I do? Invite this dude to things that I do with my friends. He came to one thing and so I shot out the next event his way.  I was going with a few friends and offered him to come tag a long.  So the day of the event I was just out and about and get a phone call.... Court like um don't be mad at me but uh I like started dating a girl and yeah this is just uh weird for me.  HAHAHA you idiot you asked me to invite you to things that I do with my FRIENDS.  I wasn't trying to take you on DATES, so please don't flatter yourself. (But maybe you shouldn't invite me over to your house at 11 PM cause that kind of makes you look like you have some underlying intentions... Just saying) I was being KIND, you asked me to include you sweetheart and that is exactly what I did.  I don't know where you got the idea I was just asking you to join JUST me?! But you're welcome! 

After these two experiences I felt like WOW seriously all I did was be nice, and kind to people around me and I get randomly slapped in the face, more like they hurt my brain because I was so dang confused. 

But has that stopped me from being nice, kind, and inviting people to events? NOPE! 

After these interesting experiences of course dealing with boys, I found myself preparing a Relief Society lesson on the Power of Kindness.  I realized as I read the words of the prophet that nothing bad will ever come from being kind to others.  I knew that being kind is a big part of what makes me happy and thankful that I am thoughtful and try to include all of those in my life even if it comes across to others differently.  

It wasn't only these experiences but along with many others that have taught me that being kind is so important.  No matter how hard being kind is, it is worth it.  Kindness has helped me be humble among other qualities. 

 Like my grandma always told me "Kill them with Kindness"

Amen grandma... I will always try to be as kind as I can be no matter what happens!

Raw&Real...through my BLUE EYES

Dating SUCKS...I had to say it! I seriously haven't ever been much of the dater type and don't get asked all that often. I mean I date here and there, nothing too serious (except 1) but nothing has really had been sticking lately.  It was weird not being at school having many places to meet people, now in the professional world I am around most people that are already married, and most of the girls my age are as well.  So I tend to get set up on BLIND DATES like it is my job.  Dating isn't always fun, it can be awkward and so annoying.  I have had some amazing dates and some that well I would rather not talk about.  So I was doing what I've always done and of course I was getting the same results.  THEN I decided to shake things up a bit, maybe risk a little more then I bargained for... 

I was looking for a long term relationship, someone to build a future with, to go to the temple with, to experience all those wonderful things a married couple would.  

Many of  you may know or have heard about my time on The Mormon Bachelor, but what you don't know is what REALLY happened.  So from the beginning to end here is my opinion, my perspective, and everything in between...

A lot of people had their opinions on whether I should do this or not, most of the women in my life were all about it, but the men weren't so keen on the idea.  I had lots of boys say this is dumb, why are you doing this, you don't need to do this, blah blah blah, but my thought was all these boys can say these things to me but can't ask me out? Hmmmm now you know why I did it.

Breakin it down...

How did this all happen?

First, saw it online thought about it,  then moved on.  I did mention it to my sister.  I debated on whether I should do it for kicks and giggles and leave it to my sister to embrace this idea. She always said you have nothing to loose and he lives in Arizona, it is perfect, you guys could even date after the show ended if he picked you.  You won't be in a long distance relationship. She had a point and told me she had a good feeling about it all. Bottom line I was convinced.  (I mean who doesn't listen to their older sister? They are usually right) So she helped me with the application questions, helped script my video, and submitted it.  Without her I don't think I would have done this. After it was all done I was like well that was a interesting experience and thought that was the end of it.  Gosh was I freakin wrong.  Next thing I knew my co-workers were all excited and involved looking at the blog telling me who they thought was going to get pick and alllllllll that. I honestly blew it off, had the 'whatever' attitude.

NEXT- When did I find out?

I got a phone call while at work and it was the producer saying you're coming to LA to take the bachelor out.  Ok hello, that just got real.  So it sounded like fun, my dating life at the time was pretty boring aka not dating at all.  It made sense go see what he was like, and take a risk.  Why not? Once again I had nothing to loose.

Then there was DRAMA...

The original bachelor dropped out, he started dating someone and wanted to pursue her.  So, after being picked and then called about him dropping out I wasn't sure what was going to happen.  I thought well that's over moving on... I got yet another phone call, yep the producer which she explained to me what was going on and that someone else was going to step in, once they knew who it was I was able to decided if I wanted to continue or not.

Later they told us it was the Bachelor's best friend whom Skpye interviewed us and helped pick us for his friend.  At that point I was debating what exactly to do, and I took the opportunity to see if maybe he was the right one for me.

First Date

I drove to LA for our first date which I planned.

WATCH

I had a good time, it was somewhat awkward with camera's and all that jazz but he was a nice guy, still hesitant if I really liked him, so left LA unsure but anxious to see what the future would hold.

We continued to chat, well really just text.  He would text me a lot but I would text him too. I always told him to pay attention to other girls too but who listens to me? (I could tell he liked my even from before his friend dropped out, he would Skype chat with me after our interview, trying to flirt. I thought it was pretty funny.)

Second Date

Was I surprised I was asked out for a second, let me be honest, not really.  We were texting a lot and felt like it was something we both wanted to see where it could potentially go.

WATCH

But after our second date, off camera we met up to really talk, and see how things were without the camera.  We had a lot of fun on the Santa Monica Pier just goofing around, and yes of course we kissed.  I have to kiss people I date, we all do to see if it really is there.  It was a cute first kiss. (I will leave it at that.)

We continued to talk, now more with texts, calls, and skype sessions.  We enjoyed being able to talk to each other as much as we could.  The third date was obvious as he openly told me he wanted to pursue me, and at this pointed I agreed with him.  I wanted that too.

BEFORE our Third Date...

He came to Arizona to visit me and meet my family.  I was and we both were taking this seriously. I was putting effort into this and so was he.  I truly felt for the first time in a long time I let my guard down and really wanted this to work out. We really wanted to see if this is what we wanted or not, if we could be around each other, if we liked each other more and if that could grow into a lasting relationship.

I picked him up from the airport and was excited to see him... We had a fun weekend planned and couldn't wait to spend time with him.  But while he was here something wasn't matching up for me.  I still can't put my finger on it.  He is a great guy, motivated, temple worthy, goal orientated, wants a family, loves kids, all these things that are on my list but something was missing.  It really tore me up inside, I felt like wow I have a guy that is so nice, treats me well and has great qualities for the first time in a long time but I didn't like him the way I thought I should to pursue a relationship.

This is when I had to really get down on my knees and ask the Lord to guide me in my decision.  I consulted my family of course and gathered other opinions but no matter what anyone said I knew what I had to do.

We continued to talk and he could feel my distance, he knew something was different but was so patient with me.  I almost didn't like how nice he was to me because I wasn't used to it.  Before our third date I told him lets talk after the game.  I have something to tell you. Such a dumb thing for me to do but I was dying inside.

He had no idea what I was going to say I didn't know how to say it.

It killed me, I felt terrible but had to do what I knew was right in my heart.

Third Date

After that date I told him how I felt, he was sad but respected my decision. 

FINALE PART I

FINALE PART II

There were times when I really wanted to be with Chris and date him.  We talked future, we tried to figure out how to make this all work, but BOTTOM LINE I had to go with my gut and didn't want to force anything.  I prayed for things to be different I wanted it so badly to work but the pieces weren't matching up.

It was hard for me I am not a girl that usually hurts boys hearts and those weren't my intentions either.  IT SUCKED.  I was sad, disappointed, and just beyond irritated.  FINALLY a nice guy wants to pursue me and I don't like him that way I expected... WHAT THE HECK!  I had a hard him letting go, but had to do what was right for me.

So to all of those that think why did I do this? Obviously did it for a chance to date someone that was looking for the same thing... Marriage or the potential of that. I wanted a relationship did I get that? NO! Did I hurt someone I came to care about? Yes! Was this the way I wanted it all to unfold? NO! So, it wasn't ideal but I learned that now more than ever life is never the way you planned it.

 I always say everything happens for a reason, and of course I don't know what that reason may be yet or ever for that matter.  But what I do know is that I learned so much about myself, things I need to improve on, things that are important to me, (like dating someone that lives near me) that there are good guys out there, how to open up more, and the list could go on.

I had an AMAZING experience on The Mormon Bachelor and wouldn't trade it for the world. I am thankful to my sister for all her help.  I am thankful to all the love and support throughout this entire process, and yes to all my HATERS I love you too.
Through this I got to know and meet people I would normally never be in contact with.  I got to developed many friendships and one in particular that I feel extremely blessed about.  I am traveling to see this girl get MARRIED this weekend. I truly look up to you Miss Erin Elton. I can't wait to help Erin and Seth celebrate their wedding day!

This experience is now over and I have begun to move forward with my decision and am back in action in the dating world that is.

So, boys....... Call Me, Maybe ;)

XOXO

New Beginnings

I am closings doors, ending an era, and starting a new chapter... to every end there is a new beginning.  A lot has changed in a few short weeks, it has been somewhat overwhelming.  So here is the good, better, and BEST

THE GOOD

Last month I was able to go to Las Vegas with the Crocketts.  How this happened... well Mike is my dentist and Kristie has been doing my hair since I moved to AZ.  I have watch their kids since they were born so over the years we have become close. Mike had a dental convention there in Vegas so Kristie and the kids Hadley and Cohen wanted to go with because they would be flying to Utah for a big family vacation after that.  Mike and Kristie asked me if I was willing to go to help with the kids, and who would say no to that?  So we flew to Vegas and stayed at the Wynn for 3 nights and 2 days.  I even got my own room. During those days I just hung out with Kristie and the kids, we went swimming, shopping, sight seeing and all the things you could do with two 3-year-olds on the strip.  I seriously had a blast but the looks Kristie and I got for having kids with us were CLASSIC!  I honestly love the Crockett's! They have a special place in my heart and have truly become family.  Hadley and Cohen are the cutest kids ever and really adore them and don't mind giving up a few Friday nights to hang out with them.  Kristie and Mike are great examples to me, they love each other, have a great relationship and active members of the church.  I look up to them probably more then they know.

Here are a few pics

My king size bed.

My favorite twins!

The Garden.

Hadley told me the fishy are swimming

View from my room.

THE BETTER

I had the opportunity to go from Vegas to Utah for a few days.  I just love my home state! Utah summers are unbeatable and so thankful I got to spend a few days up there.  I flew in Saturday morning and Kasey picked me up.  That night I went to the Salt Lake Real game, it was my first Major League Soccer game.  The crowd is something else there.  I had such a blast despite the fact that I don't know anything about soccer. 

Sunday and Monday I got to spend time with a lot of my family and more quality time with Kasey. I love being able to see my family and close friends, it is always hard when I go to Utah because there are so many people I want to see and never enough time (especially when I don't have a car). 

 Kasey and I got to hang out the most we have since she moved in January.   I have missed her so much. We got our 44oz drinks, danced in the car, made her eat candy with me, we shared the same bed, cried, and of course LAUGHED a ton. She has been an amazing friend and example to me.  We have been through so much together and so thankful to have her in my life.

The highlight was that a bunch of my family and close friends went out to dinner to one of our families favorite places called La Frontera.  We have been eating there since I can remember.  It has always been our "go to" place.  My family has always ordered their smothered burritos but for me I keep it simple and always have... Bean and cheese burrito with rice and beans on the side.  I have never ordered anything else! Call me weird but I love it.

THE BEST

A few things happened while I was away... 2 of my close co-workers had closed their chapters here at work.  It caught me off guard.  I have grown to care about the women that I work with so dearly it made me really sad but know it was bound to happen eventually, just not this soon.

This past year for me has been pretty hard to be honest... the question has been "What's next".  That question hung over my head heavily this year.  I was done with school and now working but really what was next for me.  Many ideas were going through my head. I NEEDED a new job, I didn't like what I was doing and it was just that a job not a career.  So the questions were... Do I move out of state? Do I go back to school? Do I serve a mission? Do I start my own business? I have worked really hard this past year to get myself where I need to be spiritually, mentally, and physically so I can make the right decisions for myself.  I have always felt like I have been a bad decision maker, but really just stubborn and prideful because how do you know what is right? How will I ever know what my next move is?  I had a hard time trusting myself is what it came down to.  So, I have been reading the book "Hearing the Voice of the Lord" by Gerald Lund and it has helped me so much lately.  It talks all about personal revelation and how it fits into our everyday life.  It has amazed me reading stories and relating to them and how much the Lord is a part of my daily life and how sometimes we are just so slow to realize it.  As I have really been praying and thinking about the lingering questions, I feel like I have received my answer this last week in the best possible way. 

I am so excited to start MY CAREER with AZ Foothills Mag.   

It has been quite the process getting to this point, but so thankful for it.  I really had to find joy in the journey. A scripture that has really been in the forefront of my mind during this time has been 

Doctrine and Covenants 111:11 "Therefore, be ye as wise as serpents and yet without sin; and I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen.  

I know this job will not be easy, I may lack a social life or make more sacrifices then I know already but I am ready to pour my heart and soul into it.  I am so excited to have this opportunity and really feel overwhelming blessed.  I will be keeping you all posted on my adventures.  The first event is well TONIGHT so wish me luck!

XOXO

 

Air Quality

If you live in Arizona we all know it is MONSOON season and that means...wind, dust, humidity, rain, thunder, lightening, and even hail sometimes.  It all starts with a dark cloud rolling in, crazy strong winds, dust flying everywhere, then you hear the CRACK of thunder and lightening and the rain starts, its pours, it floods the streets, and then the next thing you know it's over.  I love all the monsoons they are so fun to watch, listen to, and the smell of rain in Arizona is awesome.  Rain in the desert is like finding gold on the beach.  The heat almost becomes tolerable with a little rain here and there.  It becomes a bittersweet relationship I have developed with these storms.  It always starts ugly... makes the air all gross, makes my eye itch, and anxious for the rain, but there is nothing like the calm after the storm.

Besides thinking of the crazy things in the air when these storms hit, there has been somewhat of a theme going on in my life, its the Air Quality of CRAZY...

I feel like only crazy things are happening not necessarily to me but around me.

It could be the full moon, or just the time of year but whatever it may be it is keeping me on my toes.

Let me give you just a few examples of the happenings... Good and Bad...

I had one of my BEST FRIENDS get engaged this week.  I am beyond excited for her and her future hubby.  I can't  wait to be a part of the BIG day and help them celebrate :) I had a feeling they would get married just by he way she talked about him even from the beginning I knew he was quite the catch. She, out of anyone I know deserves this! She is one incredible girl and I truly admire her.  I am so happy for them!

I have had two friends recently break up with their boyfriends which is never easy, and all I want to do is hug them but they are miles away. :(  I have realized how important it is to be able to be there for someone like your friends in times of need.  The reliance you have on your closest friends is like no other, the non judgement, the love, advice and the genuine listening hear, is an amazing blessing to have and to be to someone else. 

My sister is PREGGERS with her first baby and IT'S A BOY

Our family is beyond excited to welcome this stud into the world in January! All I can say is he will be spoiled rotten.  I am already in stores looking for cute things to buy him. 

When she told me she was pregnant I was so thrilled! I am finally an AUNTIE! I can't wait to watch her grow into her new role as a mommy because I know she is going to be an AMAZING mom and continue to be a great example to me.  I truly cherish our sisterhood, friendship, and being able to call her my coworker.   I have such an awesome relationship with my sister, we get along so well, can tell each other everything and are always there for each other.  She can call me out, help me see a different prospective, teach me, love me, get mad at me, laugh and cry with me and there isn't anyone else I would rather have as a sister then her. There isn't a day I don't talk to her and it has always been that way.   She is the best big sister anyone could ask for I love her more then she knows and can't wait to fall in love with her little boy.  

Work has been a little crazy, some big projects are being completed, planning for the rest of the year, and making sure everything is on track for the next few months.  Despite all the stress at work, I feel pretty dang blessed for loving the people I work with.  It makes all the difference.

Like they say... when it rains it pours, and that is SO TRUE, but after every storm there is a sense of calmness.  Sometimes when you go through something difficult or just an enduring process, you look back and think... I DID THAT? Woahhhh. I still can't believe I got through that.  

How amazing is that feeling?! 

All I can say is in life most of our storms aren't welcome ones BUT we are made to get through them :)

Don't worry I am still learning how to dance in the rain, cause playing in the puddles is the easy part!

 XOXO

Hey boy hey

Confession time people, so this might be obvious to some of you that know me really well BUT I must confess my love for BOY BANDS and TEEN IDOLS.  

NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, 98 degrees, LFO, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Lil Bow Wow, the list could go on, and the 90's were full of them.

My love started when I first heard "Tearin up my heart" and saw the handsome men of NSYNC the best boy band in my opinion... (I was in about 4th grade at this time) I was more then obsessed with them, every magazine I would cut out pictures of them and post them on my bulletin board, race home from school to watch the music videos on TRL and of course I had my favorite member. Funny story one of my friends also loved NSYNC and she put the poster of them on the ground next to her bed with a blanket over them when she would go to sleep.  Hahahaha it was hilarious!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, had my heart with his bleach blonde curls and killer dance moves.  I just knew we would one day make the perfect couple, I mean our birthdays are both in January so I thought it was a sign. Makes sense right? In a ten-year-old mind it totally did.   

Fact is that Justin and I just weren't compatible, I mean who could compete with Britney Spears, I couldn't. Well maybe now, I mean the whole shaving her head thing was crazy-town but now he is with the gorgeous Jessica Biel, I am so happy for them.  Ha sense the sarcasm? Ok I still have a crush on that fool.

Anyway, the generation now is experiencing what most of us did in our childhood, the explosion of teens being super successful and becoming idols.  Now its, Justin Bieber, The Wanted, One Direction, Selena Gomez, Carly Rae, just to name a few.  People are going CRAZY for them.  

Let me set one record straight, sorry Justin and Selena your teen power couple title will never top the original Justin and Britney duo.. CLASSIC! 

So now that I am in my 20's does this mean I can't be obsessed too? Oops I did it again... too late... I have the Bieber Fever and not sure it will be gone anytime soon.  I actually just bought his new CD, I have no shame I freakin love it!!!  I love One Direction, The Wanted and well Carly Rae, I probably won't call you but I love your song.  Despite the fact I think she will be a one hit wonder:)  

Why do I love them or their songs? Well if you like them you already know why.  The songs are catchy, about being in love, cheesy, yet clean, and always seem bring out some type of dance moves, or just acting out what they are singing about. AND let's get real we all wish we were teen idols and famous! 

I honestly think I will be listening to boy bands until well forever.  Yep I will probably be the crazy mom bumping the songs in my car and taking my kids to their concerts and all that jazz.  Pray for my children, haha they will be so embarrassed!   

But REALLY I think this picture is wayyyy more EMBARRASSING.  What were they thinking? Seriously.

 XOXO

Long Distance Love Affair

Ok, you may be thinking STOP! Court, no one wants to hear about your EPIC fail of a on again and off again long distance relationship for the past 2 years, (thank my lucky stars that ended) BUT don't get your panties in a bunch just yet... I am taking this in a very different direction.  I am going the DISTANCE... ok joking but hear me out.

I think it has been since I graduated college that I have realized how many long distant relationships I am in... Not the love kind silly but friends that have moved out of the Grand Canyon State to bigger and better opportunities. Well let's say more then friends, my family.  I have been blessed with AMAZING people that have come into my life and am sure as heck going to keep them around.  These friends are all over the country now, which can be difficult at times, but incredible to see how we are STILL involved in each others life's.

Here we go I am naming a few place as to "where in the world" my FRIENDS are..

-South Bend, Indiana

-Chicago, Illinois

-Salt Lake City, Utah

-Santa Maria, California

-San Diego, California

      

-Charlotte, North Carolina

 Most of these people have been in my life for years now, some I lived with, had classes with, or went to high school together.  They have all deeply impacted my life in one way or another.  I have had so many different experiences with all my friends; being a freshman at ASU figuring out our way around the city of Tempe, trying to study for countless hours but getting distracted by our spontaneity,  road tripping to Mexico/Cali/Vegas, crying over boys, laughing so hard we cry, dancing in clubs, ditching classes to lay out, sleepovers, countless hours on the phone, texting, going to sushi, eating fast food way too late, walking to the gas station, football/basketball games, celebrating birthdays, pillow talks, shopping adventures, singing at the top of our lung in our cars, lake trips, giving advice and taking advice when we don't want to.. AND the list could go on and on....

Valuable lessons they have taught me...

- Friends will love you most when you need it especially at your rock bottom

- Sticking up for yourself gets easier with age

- Making mistakes doesn't always mean they are bad

- If you hang out with me long enough you will start drinking DIET PEPSI

- Being a supportive friend is an understatement

- Chocolate is always the best problem solver

There are so many things I have learned from those around me and so thankful for their examples that real, genuine people still actually exist.  I can't explain how happy I am to hear from each of them whether it is an hour convo on the phone, a simple text, or finally seeing them after a long period apart.  I feel like I need to thank technology cause without it I am not sure if we could keep up as easily with people's crazy life's.  Facebook, Twitter, blogs, instagram and emails, help me keep track of my peeps and stalk each of their lives.  I love it when people call me and automatically bring up something I posted, awww they do care about me and keep tabs on me... I TRULY LOVE THAT.  Stalk away! haha!

I am a person that takes my friendships pretty serious, being a loyal friend is a priority to me and always has been.  I would do anything for my friends no matter what.  I am not the most open person out there so for people to really get to know me and become a close friend takes sometime with me. I am the first to admit that :)  

It is interesting how friendships can change because of time and circumstances but at the same time it feels all too familiar... I have been so lucky to reconnect recently with one of my favorites from junior high. (Yes, Emily I hope you don't mind this post)  Emily and I were like two peas in a pod in junior high, we were the two extremely tall brunette girls in a sea full of short blondes.  We used to hang out all the time, and do everything together.  But when I moved, things changed.  We didn't get to see each other that much and our lives went in different directions.  She lived in Utah, married, and now has a kid, where I live in AZ, single, thankfully no kids haha.  We would always get together when I visited Utah with all the girls but hard to talk to all of them especially when we only had a few hours.  Luckily Emily's hubby has an internship in AZ and she is here for a few weeks this summer.  We have been able to see each other and grab dinner and catch up. I have been able to see her in a different light, she is a mom and a really good one at that.   

I have loved seeing her and it takes me back to when we were really close and how much I have missed her.  So I hope she knows NOW that this friendship isn't going anywhere haha.  

What blessing friends are in each of our lives :) 

XO 

Changes

Let's start with some Tupac... (yes I must confess I do like rap music)

 "Things will never be the same" 

That is one thing he got right, from this moment forward nothing will EVER be the same.  

Like they say 'The only thing that is constant in anyone's life is CHANGE'.  

Sometimes that is a harsh reality to face and maybe it isn't necessarily the change but the adjustment that comes with the change.  I don't think many people like change or should I say the change they don't want, don't expect, or never believed would change.  I can't lie, I am not the biggest fan of major changes in the moment but as I have gotten older I have realized that all change is necessary, and hindsight is always 20/20 so this is easy for me to say now and will be even easier in 30 years.

As a kid you feel like life is pretty predictable, you have a bed time, you go to school at the same time, and around the same people, but as you learn more and grow up things tend to CHANGE.
I felt like I had many changes happen in my life so FAST, I didn't know which way was up.  My parents divorced in 2003, my sister left for college in 2004, BOTH my parents remarried in 2005, My mom, brother and I moved to AZ in 2005 with my step family.  I started my junior year at Gilbert High School, not knowing anyone, and had to drive my younger step bro and his friends to school that I had only known for a week.  YES this was an insane part of my life.  I was so angry and  mad that my mom got remarried and moved us down to AZ, I was a bitter teenager thinking my whole life has been turned upside down... (I must confess, I had no motivation to do super well in school, thinking I would just move back to Utah soon anyway, but I was really struggling in Pre-Calc so I used to go to my car during that and sleep until my mom found out I was ditching all the time. I was such a punk) I tried my best to put a smile on my face everyday and make best of the situation because I knew no matter how hard it would be now, it can only get better.  The thought keep coming "Maybe I should just go back to Utah"... well that didn't happen and so thankful I stayed in AZ.  I have been so blessed with my decision to stay here and make this place my home (for now).

I was back and forth from AZ to UT a lot my junior and senior year of high school.  By law my brother and I had to make sure we separated our time between both parents equally, due to the divorce agreement. Talk about ADJUSTING... AND Both my parents had new spouses that I didn't really know and I was living with new family members? WEIRD!  I watched both of my parents CHANGE in their relationships with a different person and sometimes I had such a hard time wondering why they couldn't be better and happy with each other.  BUT I am so thankful that both of them found someone to be better and happier with them then they could ever be together.  I have learned a lot from watching my parents and thankful for the change even though it wasn't easy but it has taught me so much about myself and what I want in my life.

I have had so many experiences that have CHANGED my life...and my PERSPECTIVE 

For most of my college career I didn't live with LDS girls, and at times it was extremely difficult for me.  I have always known the gospel is true and know that there isn't anything in the world that is truer then our gospel.  Although it was hard to live with girls that don't live by our standards, I had amazing opportunities to serve them and share the gospel with those I lived with.  I had one roommate start taking the discussions, gave Book of Mormons to a few of them, some received priesthood blessings and always extended invites to church and church activities. I have yet to see any of them enter the waters of baptism, but I still have hope that one day that seed I helped plant will grow and become members of the church.

At the bold age of 23 I have lost 2 friends within a year.  It has been hard to have friends at this age lose their life's and especially feeling that we are too young to go.  I have come to terms with how fast life can change and that we aren't in control.  It has made me realize more then I could ever write on paper or type on a computer how much the Savior loves each of us.  Kendra and Tanner's circumstances were completely different but help me to understand different aspects, from pray, the atonement, serving others and most of all feeling the love of my family and my Savior so strongly. I have found so much comfort in knowing we can all see them again.  The impressions they left on my life and I know many others are blessings I will be forever grateful for.

Often time many say it is the small and simple things that will change your life and it is true just like it says in Alma 37 6&7.  One day I was on my way to work and stopped into a QT to grab a drink, and if you have been there before you know they kinda hurry you when they ring you up.  I was standing in line just behind an older man I would say he was around 70 ish and struggling to get is money out so he put his drink and donut on the counter, and the man ahead of him in line was in nice business clothes and could tell he was in a rush, well the cashier was confused and asked the middle aged business man if it was all together and as there was some confusion then the man said yes and paid for the older man's items.  As the old man looked up and asked how much the cashier said "he paid for it". In shock the old man walked out to kindly thank the man for paying for his morning snack and the business man said 'no problem' and jumped in his Range Rover and drove away.  For some reason that day, that situation hit my heart.  This man paid so nonchalantly and went about his day like it was nothing and the other man was in awe for his generosity.  It made me think and know how important it is to serve others.  This small act made an impression on me the small amount given created a grateful and loving heart.  My impression of the man driving the Range Rover changed, and maybe that is what I needed that day to see the kindness of someones heart without judgement. 

Never in a million years did I expect to have some of these type of experiences; divorce, death, moving, not being married and many missionary opportunities.  But have enjoyed each trial and triumph and the journey life continues to take me on.

As I look back on my life experiences and the many things I have learned, most importantly I have seen change in MYSELF. I had stake conference yesterday and Elder Tad R. Callister from the Second Quorum of the Seventy came to speak to us and he said "Heavenly Father doesn't expect PERFECTION but he does expect PROGRESSION everyday".  How humbled I was by his words, and my want for perfection should be translated into my progress for CHANGE to become better each and everyday.

I have a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks, months, and years.  All I know now is change will happen and progress is needed.

XOXO  

I am always playing CATCH UP...

So in April I went to San Diego to see my friend Amber who is going to school there.  I needed a mini vacay and flights were cheap so I took Friday off and went to see her.  I loved it there, went to the beach everyday, went on a hike, and hit up Coronado.  That was such a highlight just riding our beach cruisers around all day going from shop to shop and laying out on the beach just soaking up the rays.  I loved every minute of it and am already planning my return.  I am a beach bum at heart. <3

My sissy poo came to visit all the way from North Carolina.  GOSH I have missed her.  So many of you may know that my sisters best friend is basically my sister too.  Kristen has been in my life since I can remember.  Our family hates that she lives far away and we hope she comes home soon.
While she was here we had such a blast catching up, swimming, BBQ-ing  and going to the Dbacks game. Most people think Kristen and I are sisters and we look more a like then me and Emily.

I went to the Drizzy Drake concert with my little brother and one of his friends in early May.  It was actually a really good concert, I was somewhat surprised but boy did I feel out of place.  The crowd was very diverse there and concerts are always good places to see some crazies to help you realize how normal you really are. Hahaha. I enjoyed the experience and spending time with my little bro.

MOTHER'S DAY...

I don't know what to say or how to start, well I guess to say how thankful I am for a loving mother. I have been surround by strong women my entire life.  My grandma and mom have been amazing examples to me. My mom is the most amazing person I know! She is incredibly strong, devoted, giving, kind, blunt, funny, loyal, affectionate, and the list could go on forever.  My mom is so supportive and don't know where I would be without her.  She is an amazing example of someone who loves to serve others, devoted to the gospel, and inspires me to be better.  I always remember her being there for me growing up, even though it was hard for her to make the time between 3 kids, and working full time especially after my parents were divorced she did her best to be there and always knew she was my biggest fan.
Some of the best memories... Late nights laying on her bed talking for hours, eating otter pops on our big porch during the summer, her helping me make posters for my student body campaign, driving carpool, going to get Big Gulps from 7Eleven, catching her reading her scriptures or praying, and of course our road trips just singing some "Love Shack".  I have had so much fun with my mom, and our relationship has only gotten stronger over the years.  When we moved to AZ we became best friends.  It was an adjustment but so glad we had each other to rely on.  She has cried with me, celebrated my successes, and laughed with me through it all. I am beyond blessed.

Well Memorial Day is the first official mark of summer, and well I am a tad bitter to the fact that I am all grown up and don't get summers anymore.  Who thought that it would be a good idea to have to work ALL YEAR LONG? Who ever it was, was clearly not thinking that the little kid inside of all us that really just want to play outside, ride our bikes, walk to the pool, and go on family vacations.  So, because I don't want to use to many of my PTO days I made a list of things that I want to do this summer.  Most are quick trips or just things I haven't done before.  Take a look, join me if you dare and I hope to be able to cross most of these off by the end of September.  

Lately I have realized how bad I am at taking pictures of things that are happening.  This summer it is my goal to be better at it.  I just forget, or think 'oh I will snap one later', or my classic excuse 'hmmm I don't look too cute today' hahahaha I am so lame.  BUT hair done or not, make up on or off, you will be seeing more pics! Get EXCITED!

ATTEMPT #1565887621321987132487363598546452132

To reading AND finishing a book this summer... Ok I am exaggerating a tad but I can start books get about halfway through and then get bored of it and NEVER FINISH.  I am adding an other attempt and I already picked a book out...I am really excited to starting reading it, and hold me it finishing it please:)

Until next time,
xoxo

RaNdOmNeSs

     So, random.... I swear I use that line at least once a day.  I like being random, and keeping people on their toes (only went the time is appropriate though)  It makes life interesting and exciting well at least I think so. I decided to CONFESS some of the random things I do or say. Please do NOT judge me haha ok you can but you may think some are weird but bet I you do weird things too.

- I HAVE to and I mean HAVE to put chapstick and lotion on my hands every night before I go to bed.  I seriously cannot fall asleep unless I do this.

- No matter what toothpaste I use, I am always thirty after I brush my teeth, morning, night, afternoon whenever time it is I need water right after.

- I like my toast burnt, not black but pretty brown.  I guess I just like the crunchiness of it or something like that. I am not quite sure why but my toast is always burnt.

- I play with my hair CONSTANTLY, yes most people pick up on this, whether I am nervous, anxious, or just bored I am twirling my hair in between my fingers.  I am sorry it is just so soft I can't help myself hahaha.

- I hate CATS... I really hope I don't offended any of you by saying this but cats just are creeps.  I have never liked them and feel like at any moment they will just pounce and claw your face off or something crazy.

- Along the sleeping lines, I have a certain pillow I have to sleep with every night.  It is the perfect size to hold on to as my dreams take me on crazy adventures.

- Reading books, something I have never found entertaining or appealing.  My family all likes to read except for me.  I can't finish books EVER! I don't know what it is but I think I just feel like I have so many other things to do then read so I almost feel guilty for taking the time to just sit and chill. If it isn't news or entertainment oriented I won't read it. I honestly don't know how I made it through college sometimes.

- I still love playing Solitaire on my phone.  Yes, I am not a big card game person but solitaire is one thing I like to do to waste time or just quite my mind.

- I would rather eat dessert over a real meal.  Yep, I can handle having a candy bar or cookie for dinner or lunch and be perfectly content.

- Deciding what to wear in the mornings is probably the biggest and hardest decision I make all day, kidding but seriously that is why it can take me so long to get ready and why my room is IMPOSSIBLE to keep clean.

Ok, so here are just a few random things I tend to do that not that many people may not know so I hope you ENJOY me and my weirdness.



XOXO

Queen of Quotes

I LOVE quotes!

 I have so many written down, on my mirror, in my drawers and just everywhere you can think of.  I like the short simple ones, cut to the chase and make a point.  So I wanted to share a few of my favorites :) Enjoy!

"Quality is not an act, it is a habit."

 ~Aristotle

  "Can isn’t a word, it’s an attitude."

~Unknown

 

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

~Martin Luther King Jr.

"We tend to become like those whom we admire."

~Thomas S. Monson

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."

~Mother Teresa

"And yeah I got flaws, I know I'm not perfect 

But all ups and downs, will soon be worth it 

When I get there "

~Lupe Fiasco

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

"Always know in your heart that you are far bigger than anything that can happen to you." 

~Dan Zadra

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” 

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~Helen Keller

XOXO