Changes

Let's start with some Tupac... (yes I must confess I do like rap music)

 "Things will never be the same" 

That is one thing he got right, from this moment forward nothing will EVER be the same.  

Like they say 'The only thing that is constant in anyone's life is CHANGE'.  

Sometimes that is a harsh reality to face and maybe it isn't necessarily the change but the adjustment that comes with the change.  I don't think many people like change or should I say the change they don't want, don't expect, or never believed would change.  I can't lie, I am not the biggest fan of major changes in the moment but as I have gotten older I have realized that all change is necessary, and hindsight is always 20/20 so this is easy for me to say now and will be even easier in 30 years.

As a kid you feel like life is pretty predictable, you have a bed time, you go to school at the same time, and around the same people, but as you learn more and grow up things tend to CHANGE.
I felt like I had many changes happen in my life so FAST, I didn't know which way was up.  My parents divorced in 2003, my sister left for college in 2004, BOTH my parents remarried in 2005, My mom, brother and I moved to AZ in 2005 with my step family.  I started my junior year at Gilbert High School, not knowing anyone, and had to drive my younger step bro and his friends to school that I had only known for a week.  YES this was an insane part of my life.  I was so angry and  mad that my mom got remarried and moved us down to AZ, I was a bitter teenager thinking my whole life has been turned upside down... (I must confess, I had no motivation to do super well in school, thinking I would just move back to Utah soon anyway, but I was really struggling in Pre-Calc so I used to go to my car during that and sleep until my mom found out I was ditching all the time. I was such a punk) I tried my best to put a smile on my face everyday and make best of the situation because I knew no matter how hard it would be now, it can only get better.  The thought keep coming "Maybe I should just go back to Utah"... well that didn't happen and so thankful I stayed in AZ.  I have been so blessed with my decision to stay here and make this place my home (for now).

I was back and forth from AZ to UT a lot my junior and senior year of high school.  By law my brother and I had to make sure we separated our time between both parents equally, due to the divorce agreement. Talk about ADJUSTING... AND Both my parents had new spouses that I didn't really know and I was living with new family members? WEIRD!  I watched both of my parents CHANGE in their relationships with a different person and sometimes I had such a hard time wondering why they couldn't be better and happy with each other.  BUT I am so thankful that both of them found someone to be better and happier with them then they could ever be together.  I have learned a lot from watching my parents and thankful for the change even though it wasn't easy but it has taught me so much about myself and what I want in my life.

I have had so many experiences that have CHANGED my life...and my PERSPECTIVE 

For most of my college career I didn't live with LDS girls, and at times it was extremely difficult for me.  I have always known the gospel is true and know that there isn't anything in the world that is truer then our gospel.  Although it was hard to live with girls that don't live by our standards, I had amazing opportunities to serve them and share the gospel with those I lived with.  I had one roommate start taking the discussions, gave Book of Mormons to a few of them, some received priesthood blessings and always extended invites to church and church activities. I have yet to see any of them enter the waters of baptism, but I still have hope that one day that seed I helped plant will grow and become members of the church.

At the bold age of 23 I have lost 2 friends within a year.  It has been hard to have friends at this age lose their life's and especially feeling that we are too young to go.  I have come to terms with how fast life can change and that we aren't in control.  It has made me realize more then I could ever write on paper or type on a computer how much the Savior loves each of us.  Kendra and Tanner's circumstances were completely different but help me to understand different aspects, from pray, the atonement, serving others and most of all feeling the love of my family and my Savior so strongly. I have found so much comfort in knowing we can all see them again.  The impressions they left on my life and I know many others are blessings I will be forever grateful for.

Often time many say it is the small and simple things that will change your life and it is true just like it says in Alma 37 6&7.  One day I was on my way to work and stopped into a QT to grab a drink, and if you have been there before you know they kinda hurry you when they ring you up.  I was standing in line just behind an older man I would say he was around 70 ish and struggling to get is money out so he put his drink and donut on the counter, and the man ahead of him in line was in nice business clothes and could tell he was in a rush, well the cashier was confused and asked the middle aged business man if it was all together and as there was some confusion then the man said yes and paid for the older man's items.  As the old man looked up and asked how much the cashier said "he paid for it". In shock the old man walked out to kindly thank the man for paying for his morning snack and the business man said 'no problem' and jumped in his Range Rover and drove away.  For some reason that day, that situation hit my heart.  This man paid so nonchalantly and went about his day like it was nothing and the other man was in awe for his generosity.  It made me think and know how important it is to serve others.  This small act made an impression on me the small amount given created a grateful and loving heart.  My impression of the man driving the Range Rover changed, and maybe that is what I needed that day to see the kindness of someones heart without judgement. 

Never in a million years did I expect to have some of these type of experiences; divorce, death, moving, not being married and many missionary opportunities.  But have enjoyed each trial and triumph and the journey life continues to take me on.

As I look back on my life experiences and the many things I have learned, most importantly I have seen change in MYSELF. I had stake conference yesterday and Elder Tad R. Callister from the Second Quorum of the Seventy came to speak to us and he said "Heavenly Father doesn't expect PERFECTION but he does expect PROGRESSION everyday".  How humbled I was by his words, and my want for perfection should be translated into my progress for CHANGE to become better each and everyday.

I have a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks, months, and years.  All I know now is change will happen and progress is needed.

XOXO