This phrase "Who New" just doesn't leave my mind these days. Obviously I am using new and not knew for a reason...
So what is NEW? May brought me plenty of NEW things like; a new job, signing with a TV Agent, new car, new phone number, new hair color (dark hair don't care), and ok I think I will stop right there for now.
Honestly I am not one that always adjusts well to NEW things or quick changes but this month has been pretty dang liberating.
What triggered this whole NEW trend for me?
Well the whole "new job" thing just kind of happened, obviously.
Let's start with my phone number... I have been clinging to that 801 phone number like an old blankey, it was the first and only number I had. I felt comfort in that. My mom, sister and well everyone in AZ would always give me a hard time about having a Utah number when I have clearly been living in AZ but I carried that with pride, and it was a great conversation starter when giving boys my number, kidding but kind of true. Due to recent events and 8 years of my 801 number holding strong, I finally gave in and joined the 480. It was a sad day but as I sent out texts and made phone calls to those I wanted to have my number, I realized that I cleaned out a lot of nonsense. I was in full control as to who could contact me via phone. What a good feeling!
New car, who does that? Leave me alone for a few days and I will never cease to amaze you I promise. I had been thinking about cars, I was frankly sick of mine. Nothing was wrong with it, it has been a great car but I was trying to be smart. I had put 45K on it in about 16 months and knew I either had to pony up and keep that car forevs or trade it in. Plus I needed a cuter car (don't judge that statement). So, one day I get off work about an hour early and decided to stop by a local dealership to check out my options. Harmless right?
Here is some advice:
1- Never go to a dealership alone
2- don't make snap decisions
3- speak up
I found a great car, Chevy Cruze 2012 with only 8,000 miles on it. I decided to test drive it, I loved it! Oops #4 don't fall in love with a car too fast.
Next thing I know I am walking out of the dealership with a NEW car. Holy crap, that just happened. I got a great deal and love my Cruze, so I am one happy girl.
On to the next thing... Yes, I signed with a TV Agent. Sounds crazy huh? Well for me it is something that just kind of happened, I wasn't in the market to get on TV at the time when I met the Agent things just fell into place. Does this mean I will be landing some big gig? No, probably not. It would be a small town in the middle of nowhere, most likely a place I have never been before.
I am in a position in my life where I have nothing holding me back to chase this dream if I choose to. Am I nervous or scared about it? Hell yes, I would be lying if I wasn't. Do I think it's weird that I didn't do this when I first graduated? YES. When I graduated from ASU I was in no way, shape or form ready to hit the ground running in the broadcasting world. I wasn't sure I could handle being away from my fam, or just spiritually strong enough to be somewhere, where it wasn't saturated with Mormons. I thought if I took a broadcasting job my life would be working weekends, never attending church aka less opportunity to meet someone and living in some small town that doesn't even have a Nordstrom. That just sounds devastating right? It did to me at least.
Now I would like to think I have grown up a bit, realizing I am far more capable of accomplishing things then I ever imagined. I am not sure how this whole TV Agent thing will pan out for me but have high hopes that everything will fall into place... wait it always does.
I am stubborn, insanely logical, and love being in control of my life, therefore I think I know more than I really do. I am positive Heavenly Father just laughs as I make plans. He truly knows what is best for each of us as much as I sometimes don't feel like that or act like that. I have to trust that if I am doing what I should be Heavenly Father will take care of me and bless me. Easier said then done.
I am excited and anxious to see what my future holds but this summer I am taking time to live in the moment and have some fun!
Chicago, San Diego, Las Vegas and San Luis Obispo are all on my mind as I get to venture out to these destinations and make some memories.
Where do I start? It has been a solid four months since I wrote on this thing... and could I write for days about what has been going on in my life, but let me put it all in simple bullet points until I get to the good stuff...
January 26th, 2013 Dylan Caleb Johnson was born. I am officially an Auntie and couldn't be more in love with that little guy. He is the more adorable thing in the world, and has brought so much joy into my life. I love that I am so close with my sister she let me be by her side the entire time. It was such a neat and spiritual experience. I love spending time with that nugget and so happy he is in this family. Can't wait to watch him grow up.
I turned 24 this year... Spent the day at the Phoenix Open and the evening with close friends and family. I don't like big birthday parties or anything like that, I get embarrassed and don't want people to feel obligated to me. Yes I know I am weird! But I did have one of my best friend spoil me. Dinner and a pedicure, what more could a girl ask for. Ashley is such an amazing person and love spending time with her. Funny to think how much we hated each other when we first met as freshman in college, but obviously we are meant to be friends and don't know what I would do without her.
March 1st I moved, yep you heard it. I am back in Tempe just living the dream. I was fortunate to find an amazing place with the BEST roomie. Kelly and I had only met a few times through mutual friends but I am so glad I have the opportunity to live with her. She has been such an amazing roommate and friend! This year is going to be a blast with her.
Then came the usual...work events, restaurant openings, Dylan's blessing, day trip to Sedona, old friends in town, boy drama, spring training just to mention a few... and this was all leading up to...
At work, I have been planning what is call our Best of Our Valley Bash that the company puts on each year. It is the biggest event of the year. I literally had been planning it since December. D-Day as I will call it rapidly approached that whole week I had the most unsettling feeling in my gut. I knew something was going to go wrong. I was sending out emails, checking the venue (which opened the night before), getting vendors there, timing everything, organizing mulitple people, putting together a video, being a social media psycho, getting marketing materials, you name it I was on it. I was working my ass off, with little help and direction, as I had never done this before I KNEW things would slip through the cracks. Naturally I tried to trouble shoot everything the best I could before the event. That week I knew something had to change I felt so overworked, underpaid, and just confused as to why I was working so bloody hard. I loved my job, but I couldn't go at this rate too much longer. Yes, you could say Courtney you are young, inexperienced and need to stop complaining... be grateful. That I was, but if you know me you know my heart and soul goes into everything I do an THIS was no exception.
I was so overwhelmed the thought of quitting or moving on was continually on my mind... I would quickly shove those thoughts aside and say "I am not a QUITTER" keep going you can do this. I had experiences at this job that had opened my mind to different avenues I thought I may take but it always came back to just be patient.
Back to D-Day, I ran back to the office to get a few supplies, and crashed and burned.... I think every emotion hit the fan and I broke down and cried. Unfortunately a few minutes later my boss walked in, I thought crap! hurry pull it together. I did we discussed my concerns shortly (told him I was overwhelmed, blah blah blah) then off to the event. I finished set up and went to change as the party was underway... I came back and SMACK, rumors had already started "I heard Courtney was quitting", was whispered around the event. It was so frustrating to hear that. I went to my boss with a dilemma and BOOM! he started yelling "You are right, you can leave". Never in a million years did I see this coming!!! I was shocked! (I will leave out some details but you get the point)
I waited for my friends to arrive and quickly made them take me back to my office to get all my belongings. I felt so hallow, I worked so hard and then this.... really this is how it ends? REALLY?
I was disappointed, shocked, devastated, and crying my eyes out as I left.
I was lucky to run into a client of ours, briefly told her what happened and she said she would call me the next day.
That night and next morning I was bombarded with calls, texts, and emails from
people that were are the event wanting to know what had happened. I had many reach out to me offering me temporary work, or help me find employment. Like I said that one client of ours did in fact call me, I set up a meeting/interview with her that Monday and was hired. A total of 1 day of unemployment. I am SO BLESSED and overwhelmed with gratitude to all those that have been there and offered their help.
Honestly this has been a extremely trying time in my life. Like that gut feeling I had, it was true and now I know me leaving my job is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. (Sounds so weird to say) I feel like a weight has been lifted and ready for new opportunities and adventures.
So here is what this "learning curve" in my life has taught me in such a short amount of time.
I have been thinking a lot about what I wanted to blog about next but THEN I asked myself... "wait who freakin reads this thing and why am I doing it?"
After I thought about it I realized, I don't do this for attention, to get famous, or make money, I don't do it for anyone else but MYSELF. I have always been a journal writer ever since I can remember and it helps me in so many ways, so to me blogging is simply journaling my crazy experiences which I have had and the things I have learned. I try to be blunt and honest, never sugar coat too much so that if anyone reads this they can get to know ME and learn or come to know me through these experiences.
SO it's 2013...
I know a typical beginning of the year post should be filled with resolutions, but let me be HONEST we all set the same dang resolutions well at least I do. Each year I swear I say I am going to; eat healthier, loose weight, workout more, pray and read my scriptures more all the traditional resolutions I have set I decided those aren't what 2013 is about for me. Yes do I always wish I was thinner, had more time to workout, eat healthier, and remember to read and pray everyday? Of course... what girl doesn't want to be fit and thin, and on top of her spiritual game right? This year I have a different plan......
I spent my New Year's up in Utah, a place I once called home and each time I go back interesting feelings tend to resurface. I hate New Year's so let's start there, it is beyond overrated, usually disappointing, and nothing how the movies make it. While I was up there I had some quality alone time where I got to think about 2012. I have had some great and not so great experiences this year, from loosing a friend, attending weddings, finding out my sister is pregnant, participating in The Mormon Bachelor, and starting a new job. It was a busy year for me. I have thought about how much I have changed over the years, and the people that have seen me change and grow. It is always said people are in your life for a reason and sometimes only a season. Well, every time I visit Utah I realize I have had no better blessing then to be able to stay in touch with so many people throughout my life. I get so excited and happy to revisit with old friends. While I was there I had lunch with girls I have known for 10 years, I saw one of my mom's best friends who has known me since I was little, and my favorite was sitting at dinner with boys I have known since kindergarten, that was ALMOST 20 years ago!
Those boys have seen it all from my awkward years, to watching me move to AZ, and continue to keep tabs on me. I couldn't have asked for better friends. I love seeing them, being able to laugh with them, and talk about some great memories we have together. I know that each friendship is truly unique and cherish each and every single one of them.
After the ball dropped at midnight, glitter fell from the ceiling and I kissed the man of my dreams hahaha I am kidding not one of those things happened that night well, besides the ball dropping in NYC but whatever, we left the party and I went back to my friend Kasey's house. I was getting all comfy in bed and turned to her and said what does 2013 look like for you? We had a short discussion and went to bed. Shortly after that I found myself WIDE AWAKE thinking about what I really want in 2013 that will make it different... I thought about what I really want and what makes me happy. That isn't any easy question to answer all the time so I told myself to think about it more. I came back from Utah and the rush of work quickly hit.
My job keeps me busy, I knew the second I landed in AZ my life was about to get crazy. The next couple months at work are jam packed with events and other obligations leaving little time for, well me. I apparently came home with a cold and that didn't help my new year resolutions so I put some on the back burner. Not the best idea as I fell back into the normal things I do instead of what I need to do but that has changed...
As I get to know myself better I realize what works and what doesn't in making and achieving goals. 2013 will be about KEEPING IT SIMPLE. My goal and focus is to keep my life as simple as possible. This may be difficult if any of you know my past but it is what I am working on. So what does keeping it simple mean to me?
This year will be about, letting go of the things in which I can't control, not getting caught up in drama, taking deep breaths when stressed, trusting the Lord more, risking more, loving myself, and most importantly answering a question I was asked by a little 3-year-old boy today that I was watching... we were sitting on the floor and looked me in the eyes and asked "Courtney are you happy?" I was surprised in that moment, and of course said YES. But am I really happy, do I know what makes me happy, and do others know I am happy? So after those innocent eyes said those 4 words, I knew that, THAT is in fact my GOAL for 2013. This year I will be finding something each day that truly MAKES ME HAPPY.
ONE quality I really try to be and that is KIND. So what does kind really mean? I could easily give you the definition is the dictionary but I will give you mine instead. Being kind is more than being nice, it is opening your heart to opportunities especially to serve. I think kindness comes through your eyes, your spirit, your actions, it gives you purpose, and it warms the heart. I love being kind and thoughtful to those around me and those I do not know. As I have reached out and been kind to people around me I feel that some may look at it as a sign of weakness.
As many of you may not know, I truly try to be a sweet and kind hearted person. I love to serve others and do as much as I can to help those around me. I may not come across that way when you first meet me but I promise those are always my intentions. So please know that it is not a weakness but an amazing strength.
Here are some funny examples oh how I was blindsided by just being kind...
I have an AMAZING job and get to do so many fun things and have the opportunity to invite friends and family to share these experiences with them.
AND that is exactly what I have done, extended invites--- platonic ones, to come and enjoy somethings not all get to experience.
Let me enlighten you about how boys have made being kind really weird for me.
I got 4 tickets to the baseball game so what do I do? I take the boy that has been texting my everyday for the last month and tell him to bring a friend. I figured then there was no pressure just wanted to get to know him a little better. I mean we were texting a lot, he did say he was going to take me on a date but he never asked. (So maybe I am the dumb one? You decide) After the game things were normal and kept chatting a bit.
Well my next event was coming up which was the first one I was in charge of felt a little pressure to make sure people would be there. I, of course invited this boy among many others including his house full of boys. Free food, I figured they would come, and they did BUT this is when it gets good... This boy brought another freakin BROAD to the event. I shouldn't be surprised but wait to my event? Hmmm I totally get it. I thought it was truly funny, but seriously who does that??? I am glad I could facilitate a date night for you with her though! You sure owe me. Yet I brushed it off and kept rolling with the punches, another dude down.
Next up, some guy said "Hey Court you should let me know when you do things with your friends I am feeling like I haven't been social and need to be." So what do I do? Invite this dude to things that I do with my friends. He came to one thing and so I shot out the next event his way. I was going with a few friends and offered him to come tag a long. So the day of the event I was just out and about and get a phone call.... Court like um don't be mad at me but uh I like started dating a girl and yeah this is just uh weird for me. HAHAHA you idiot you asked me to invite you to things that I do with my FRIENDS. I wasn't trying to take you on DATES, so please don't flatter yourself. (But maybe you shouldn't invite me over to your house at 11 PM cause that kind of makes you look like you have some underlying intentions... Just saying) I was being KIND, you asked me to include you sweetheart and that is exactly what I did. I don't know where you got the idea I was just asking you to join JUST me?! But you're welcome!
After these two experiences I felt like WOW seriously all I did was be nice, and kind to people around me and I get randomly slapped in the face, more like they hurt my brain because I was so dang confused.
But has that stopped me from being nice, kind, and inviting people to events? NOPE!
After these interesting experiences of course dealing with boys, I found myself preparing a Relief Society lesson on the Power of Kindness. I realized as I read the words of the prophet that nothing bad will ever come from being kind to others. I knew that being kind is a big part of what makes me happy and thankful that I am thoughtful and try to include all of those in my life even if it comes across to others differently.
It wasn't only these experiences but along with many others that have taught me that being kind is so important. No matter how hard being kind is, it is worth it. Kindness has helped me be humble among other qualities.
Like my grandma always told me "Kill them with Kindness"
Amen grandma... I will always try to be as kind as I can be no matter what happens!
Dating SUCKS...I had to say it! I seriously haven't ever been much of the dater type and don't get asked all that often. I mean I date here and there, nothing too serious (except 1) but nothing has really had been sticking lately. It was weird not being at school having many places to meet people, now in the professional world I am around most people that are already married, and most of the girls my age are as well. So I tend to get set up on BLIND DATES like it is my job. Dating isn't always fun, it can be awkward and so annoying. I have had some amazing dates and some that well I would rather not talk about. So I was doing what I've always done and of course I was getting the same results. THEN I decided to shake things up a bit, maybe risk a little more then I bargained for...
I was looking for a long term relationship, someone to build a future with, to go to the temple with, to experience all those wonderful things a married couple would.
Many of you may know or have heard about my time on The Mormon Bachelor, but what you don't know is what REALLY happened. So from the beginning to end here is my opinion, my perspective, and everything in between...
A lot of people had their opinions on whether I should do this or not, most of the women in my life were all about it, but the men weren't so keen on the idea. I had lots of boys say this is dumb, why are you doing this, you don't need to do this, blah blah blah, but my thought was all these boys can say these things to me but can't ask me out? Hmmmm now you know why I did it.
Breakin it down...
How did this all happen?
First, saw it online thought about it, then moved on. I did mention it to my sister. I debated on whether I should do it for kicks and giggles and leave it to my sister to embrace this idea. She always said you have nothing to loose and he lives in Arizona, it is perfect, you guys could even date after the show ended if he picked you. You won't be in a long distance relationship. She had a point and told me she had a good feeling about it all. Bottom line I was convinced. (I mean who doesn't listen to their older sister? They are usually right) So she helped me with the application questions, helped script my video, and submitted it. Without her I don't think I would have done this. After it was all done I was like well that was a interesting experience and thought that was the end of it. Gosh was I freakin wrong. Next thing I knew my co-workers were all excited and involved looking at the blog telling me who they thought was going to get pick and alllllllll that. I honestly blew it off, had the 'whatever' attitude.
NEXT- When did I find out?
I got a phone call while at work and it was the producer saying you're coming to LA to take the bachelor out. Ok hello, that just got real. So it sounded like fun, my dating life at the time was pretty boring aka not dating at all. It made sense go see what he was like, and take a risk. Why not? Once again I had nothing to loose.
Then there was DRAMA...
The original bachelor dropped out, he started dating someone and wanted to pursue her. So, after being picked and then called about him dropping out I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I thought well that's over moving on... I got yet another phone call, yep the producer which she explained to me what was going on and that someone else was going to step in, once they knew who it was I was able to decided if I wanted to continue or not.
Later they told us it was the Bachelor's best friend whom Skpye interviewed us and helped pick us for his friend. At that point I was debating what exactly to do, and I took the opportunity to see if maybe he was the right one for me.
First Date
I drove to LA for our first date which I planned.
WATCH
I had a good time, it was somewhat awkward with camera's and all that jazz but he was a nice guy, still hesitant if I really liked him, so left LA unsure but anxious to see what the future would hold.
We continued to chat, well really just text. He would text me a lot but I would text him too. I always told him to pay attention to other girls too but who listens to me? (I could tell he liked my even from before his friend dropped out, he would Skype chat with me after our interview, trying to flirt. I thought it was pretty funny.)
Second Date
Was I surprised I was asked out for a second, let me be honest, not really. We were texting a lot and felt like it was something we both wanted to see where it could potentially go.
WATCH
But after our second date, off camera we met up to really talk, and see how things were without the camera. We had a lot of fun on the Santa Monica Pier just goofing around, and yes of course we kissed. I have to kiss people I date, we all do to see if it really is there. It was a cute first kiss. (I will leave it at that.)
We continued to talk, now more with texts, calls, and skype sessions. We enjoyed being able to talk to each other as much as we could. The third date was obvious as he openly told me he wanted to pursue me, and at this pointed I agreed with him. I wanted that too.
BEFORE our Third Date...
He came to Arizona to visit me and meet my family. I was and we both were taking this seriously. I was putting effort into this and so was he. I truly felt for the first time in a long time I let my guard down and really wanted this to work out. We really wanted to see if this is what we wanted or not, if we could be around each other, if we liked each other more and if that could grow into a lasting relationship.
I picked him up from the airport and was excited to see him... We had a fun weekend planned and couldn't wait to spend time with him. But while he was here something wasn't matching up for me. I still can't put my finger on it. He is a great guy, motivated, temple worthy, goal orientated, wants a family, loves kids, all these things that are on my list but something was missing. It really tore me up inside, I felt like wow I have a guy that is so nice, treats me well and has great qualities for the first time in a long time but I didn't like him the way I thought I should to pursue a relationship.
This is when I had to really get down on my knees and ask the Lord to guide me in my decision. I consulted my family of course and gathered other opinions but no matter what anyone said I knew what I had to do.
We continued to talk and he could feel my distance, he knew something was different but was so patient with me. I almost didn't like how nice he was to me because I wasn't used to it. Before our third date I told him lets talk after the game. I have something to tell you. Such a dumb thing for me to do but I was dying inside.
He had no idea what I was going to say I didn't know how to say it.
It killed me, I felt terrible but had to do what I knew was right in my heart.
Third Date
After that date I told him how I felt, he was sad but respected my decision.
FINALE PART I
FINALE PART II
There were times when I really wanted to be with Chris and date him. We talked future, we tried to figure out how to make this all work, but BOTTOM LINE I had to go with my gut and didn't want to force anything. I prayed for things to be different I wanted it so badly to work but the pieces weren't matching up.
It was hard for me I am not a girl that usually hurts boys hearts and those weren't my intentions either. IT SUCKED. I was sad, disappointed, and just beyond irritated. FINALLY a nice guy wants to pursue me and I don't like him that way I expected... WHAT THE HECK! I had a hard him letting go, but had to do what was right for me.
So to all of those that think why did I do this? Obviously did it for a chance to date someone that was looking for the same thing... Marriage or the potential of that. I wanted a relationship did I get that? NO! Did I hurt someone I came to care about? Yes! Was this the way I wanted it all to unfold? NO! So, it wasn't ideal but I learned that now more than ever life is never the way you planned it.
I always say everything happens for a reason, and of course I don't know what that reason may be yet or ever for that matter. But what I do know is that I learned so much about myself, things I need to improve on, things that are important to me, (like dating someone that lives near me) that there are good guys out there, how to open up more, and the list could go on.
I had an AMAZING experience on The Mormon Bachelor and wouldn't trade it for the world. I am thankful to my sister for all her help. I am thankful to all the love and support throughout this entire process, and yes to all my HATERS I love you too.
Through this I got to know and meet people I would normally never be in contact with. I got to developed many friendships and one in particular that I feel extremely blessed about. I am traveling to see this girl get MARRIED this weekend. I truly look up to you Miss Erin Elton. I can't wait to help Erin and Seth celebrate their wedding day!
This experience is now over and I have begun to move forward with my decision and am back in action in the dating world that is.
I am closings doors, ending an era, and starting a new chapter... to every end there is a new beginning. A lot has changed in a few short weeks, it has been somewhat overwhelming. So here is the good, better, and BEST
THE GOOD
Last month I was able to go to Las Vegas with the Crocketts. How this happened... well Mike is my dentist and Kristie has been doing my hair since I moved to AZ. I have watch their kids since they were born so over the years we have become close. Mike had a dental convention there in Vegas so Kristie and the kids Hadley and Cohen wanted to go with because they would be flying to Utah for a big family vacation after that. Mike and Kristie asked me if I was willing to go to help with the kids, and who would say no to that? So we flew to Vegas and stayed at the Wynn for 3 nights and 2 days. I even got my own room. During those days I just hung out with Kristie and the kids, we went swimming, shopping, sight seeing and all the things you could do with two 3-year-olds on the strip. I seriously had a blast but the looks Kristie and I got for having kids with us were CLASSIC! I honestly love the Crockett's! They have a special place in my heart and have truly become family. Hadley and Cohen are the cutest kids ever and really adore them and don't mind giving up a few Friday nights to hang out with them. Kristie and Mike are great examples to me, they love each other, have a great relationship and active members of the church. I look up to them probably more then they know.
Here are a few pics
My king size bed.
My favorite twins!
The Garden.
Hadley told me the fishy are swimming
View from my room.
THE BETTER
I had the opportunity to go from Vegas to Utah for a few days. I just love my home state! Utah summers are unbeatable and so thankful I got to spend a few days up there. I flew in Saturday morning and Kasey picked me up. That night I went to the Salt Lake Real game, it was my first Major League Soccer game. The crowd is something else there. I had such a blast despite the fact that I don't know anything about soccer.
Sunday and Monday I got to spend time with a lot of my family and more quality time with Kasey. I love being able to see my family and close friends, it is always hard when I go to Utah because there are so many people I want to see and never enough time (especially when I don't have a car).
Kasey and I got to hang out the most we have since she moved in January. I have missed her so much. We got our 44oz drinks, danced in the car, made her eat candy with me, we shared the same bed, cried, and of course LAUGHED a ton. She has been an amazing friend and example to me. We have been through so much together and so thankful to have her in my life.
The highlight was that a bunch of my family and close friends went out to dinner to one of our families favorite places called La Frontera. We have been eating there since I can remember. It has always been our "go to" place. My family has always ordered their smothered burritos but for me I keep it simple and always have... Bean and cheese burrito with rice and beans on the side. I have never ordered anything else! Call me weird but I love it.
THE BEST
A few things happened while I was away... 2 of my close co-workers had closed their chapters here at work. It caught me off guard. I have grown to care about the women that I work with so dearly it made me really sad but know it was bound to happen eventually, just not this soon.
This past year for me has been pretty hard to be honest... the question has been "What's next". That question hung over my head heavily this year. I was done with school and now working but really what was next for me. Many ideas were going through my head. I NEEDED a new job, I didn't like what I was doing and it was just that a job not a career. So the questions were... Do I move out of state? Do I go back to school? Do I serve a mission? Do I start my own business? I have worked really hard this past year to get myself where I need to be spiritually, mentally, and physically so I can make the right decisions for myself. I have always felt like I have been a bad decision maker, but really just stubborn and prideful because how do you know what is right? How will I ever know what my next move is? I had a hard time trusting myself is what it came down to. So, I have been reading the book "Hearing the Voice of the Lord" by Gerald Lund and it has helped me so much lately. It talks all about personal revelation and how it fits into our everyday life. It has amazed me reading stories and relating to them and how much the Lord is a part of my daily life and how sometimes we are just so slow to realize it. As I have really been praying and thinking about the lingering questions, I feel like I have received my answer this last week in the best possible way.
I am so excited to start MY CAREER with AZ Foothills Mag.
It has been quite the process getting to this point, but so thankful for it. I really had to find joy in the journey. A scripture that has really been in the forefront of my mind during this time has been
Doctrine and Covenants 111:11 "Therefore, be ye as wise as serpents and yet without sin; and I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen.
I know this job will not be easy, I may lack a social life or make more sacrifices then I know already but I am ready to pour my heart and soul into it. I am so excited to have this opportunity and really feel overwhelming blessed. I will be keeping you all posted on my adventures. The first event is well TONIGHT so wish me luck!
If you live in Arizona we all know it is MONSOON season and that means...wind, dust, humidity, rain, thunder, lightening, and even hail sometimes. It all starts with a dark cloud rolling in, crazy strong winds, dust flying everywhere, then you hear the CRACK of thunder and lightening and the rain starts, its pours, it floods the streets, and then the next thing you know it's over. I love all the monsoons they are so fun to watch, listen to, and the smell of rain in Arizona is awesome. Rain in the desert is like finding gold on the beach. The heat almost becomes tolerable with a little rain here and there. It becomes a bittersweet relationship I have developed with these storms. It always starts ugly... makes the air all gross, makes my eye itch, and anxious for the rain, but there is nothing like the calm after the storm.
Besides thinking of the crazy things in the air when these storms hit, there has been somewhat of a theme going on in my life, its the Air Quality of CRAZY...
I feel like only crazy things are happening not necessarily to me but around me.
It could be the full moon, or just the time of year but whatever it may be it is keeping me on my toes.
Let me give you just a few examples of the happenings... Good and Bad...
I had one of my BEST FRIENDS get engaged this week. I am beyond excited for her and her future hubby. I can't wait to be a part of the BIG day and help them celebrate :) I had a feeling they would get married just by he way she talked about him even from the beginning I knew he was quite the catch. She, out of anyone I know deserves this! She is one incredible girl and I truly admire her. I am so happy for them!
I have had two friends recently break up with their boyfriends which is never easy, and all I want to do is hug them but they are miles away. :( I have realized how important it is to be able to be there for someone like your friends in times of need. The reliance you have on your closest friends is like no other, the non judgement, the love, advice and the genuine listening hear, is an amazing blessing to have and to be to someone else.
My sister is PREGGERS with her first baby and IT'S A BOY
Our family is beyond excited to welcome this stud into the world in January! All I can say is he will be spoiled rotten. I am already in stores looking for cute things to buy him.
When she told me she was pregnant I was so thrilled! I am finally an AUNTIE! I can't wait to watch her grow into her new role as a mommy because I know she is going to be an AMAZING mom and continue to be a great example to me. I truly cherish our sisterhood, friendship, and being able to call her my coworker. I have such an awesome relationship with my sister, we get along so well, can tell each other everything and are always there for each other. She can call me out, help me see a different prospective, teach me, love me, get mad at me, laugh and cry with me and there isn't anyone else I would rather have as a sister then her. There isn't a day I don't talk to her and it has always been that way. She is the best big sister anyone could ask for I love her more then she knows and can't wait to fall in love with her little boy.
Work has been a little crazy, some big projects are being completed, planning for the rest of the year, and making sure everything is on track for the next few months. Despite all the stress at work, I feel pretty dang blessed for loving the people I work with. It makes all the difference.
Like they say... when it rains it pours, and that is SO TRUE, but after every storm there is a sense of calmness. Sometimes when you go through something difficult or just an enduring process, you look back and think... I DID THAT? Woahhhh. I still can't believe I got through that.
How amazing is that feeling?!
All I can say is in life most of our storms aren't welcome ones BUT we are made to get through them :)
Don't worry I am still learning how to dance in the rain, cause playing in the puddles is the easy part!
